30 Things That Probably Go Through My Cat’s Head

Get ready for it folks, he’s a weird one.

Image by me: Feat. Oscar Myer Wilde The Grouch

1. “I need to chew on something. Oh! Look! My foot.”
2. “I have never ventured outside, but I will dash for the door every time it opens.”
3. “Litter is meant to be thrown around the room.”
4. “I will cry until you give me food but I will not eat it.”
5. “If I run fast enough, maybe I can break through the glass window.”
6. “Expensive cat toy? Nah. However, an old chocolate bar wrapper? *Chef’s kiss*”
7. “3 a.m. is destroy everything time, please do not disturb me.”
8. “Pls give me pets. NO DON’T TOUCH ME!”
9. “Water. Is. Satan.”
10. “Every plastic bag you bring home will become mine.”
11. “Treat bags must be found and emptied at all costs.”
12. “Oh, I didn’t realize you weren’t done with your soup yet. It is mine now.”
13. *Sitting on the counter-top* “I am the epitome of elegance.”
14. “If you touch my feet, I will kill you.”
15. “I hate human food, but I will play with it.”
16. “I take nap on your face now.”
17. “Your hair looks like string, therefore it is a toy.”
18. “I hate all water except yours, so I will drink yours.”
19. *TV Static*
20. “Oh, do you need help tying on your laptop?” *steps all over keyboard*
21. “4 a.m. is dinner time.”
22. “If it makes a weird noise, I MUST attack.”
23. “Pls put the birds back on the TV so I can swat at them.”
24. “I will eat lotion as a snack.”
25. “I will eat soap as a snack.”
26. “I will drink coffee as a snack.”
27. “The bathroom is my safe space. Do not talk to me while I am in there.”
28. “If you walk by me, I will pounce on your feet.”
29. “I brought you a used tissue, as a gift.”
30. “I hate you. But you are okay. I will lick your nose to show affection.”